You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
