fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
