I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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