I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
honey bunches of taint.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
