Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
