just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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