Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
