i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
