So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I came so hard my ears popped.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
