I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
