are you still at the devil's house?
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
