don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You're like the curious george of whores
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
