look no pants
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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