East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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