You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
