Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
