i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
my being single is dangerous.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
