im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
