We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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