Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
