I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
