Walk of Shame. In a state park.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Randomize
