Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
