well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
