How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
