Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
