I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
