tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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