then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
My day in three words: secret purse cake
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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