better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
