Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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