Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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