Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
