She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
