I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
