you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
