Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
