Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
