What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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