She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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