Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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