i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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