I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Randomize
