There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
