Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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