i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
