I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Randomize
