I think i peed on brittanys purse
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
