Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
sex in a hospital.. check
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
