If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
