Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
