I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Randomize
